Webster’s definition of the word disaster is as follows: di·sas·tar – (noun) A sudden calamitous event bringing great damage, loss, or destruction; broadly : a sudden or great misfortune or failure.
We have all had them, we don’t want them, and we certainly know how devastating disasters can be, especially when they strike in the kitchen. There are lots of different types of disasters in cooking, from an egg dropped on the floor, to a burnt chicken, and depending upon the circumstances can be equally catastrophic. Many tragedies are completely out of our control, however many of them are what I consider self-inflicted. Lots of times we set ourselves up to fail. Not all problems can be avoided, but here are a few guidelines that I try to follow when planning and preparing a meal, that help reduce the odds of unwanted disasters in my kitchen.
# 1. Clear the Decks:
Start with a tidy kitchen. Don’t start cooking with a pile of dishes in the sink and a full trash can. Clear off the counters and give yourself some elbow room. Attempting to pull a needed mixing bowl out of a stack of dirty pots and pans on the counter, may predict a spill and or broken glass. Also clean as you go, whenever you can. It can be hard, but keeping up by washing the pots and pans you are through with will save a mountain of work later.
# 2. Know your Inventory:
Review your recipes and check your larder. Thinking that you have baking powder is not the same thing as actually owning it. A planned trip to the store is different from a “Mayday” mission 20 minutes before your guests are to arrive. I am sure we have all, at one time or another, stood in front of a neighbor’s door with blushing cheeks holding an empty measuring cup, hoping for the best. Which can lead to the next pitfall.
#3. Substitutions:
There are many items that can be substituted when you’re out of an ingredient. No matter how carefully you plan, this is bound to happen from time to time. However there are also many items that can not and should not be interchanged. Baking powder will never be baking soda, skim milk will not replace heavy cream no matter how long you beat it. Many cookbooks list substitutions, and of course the web has tons of information. We all know the sinking feeling of adding something because it is what we had, and hoping for the best. This is not the thing to be doing with guests at the table, this is seeing the rocks and not changing the course of the boat.
#4. Use Precautions:
Don’t get to busy to forget your hot pads and oven mitts, and put sheet pans under pies and casseroles. Spills in the oven can cause oven fires, set off alarms, and leave anything else you plan to bake tasting like ash. A burnt smell in the house does not equal lovin’ from the oven. Keep your hot pads and oven mitts handy. Grabbing a hot pan with your bare hand is not something you want to do. Slow down and pay attention when you are working with knives. It is easy to start thinking about what the next thing is that you need to do, and going for stitches should not be it. Place parchment paper under baked good to prevent sticking. Scraping the rolls you have had rising for hours off the pan is not what you want to be doing, and is easy to avoid.
#5. Stay on Duty:
It is easy to forget what you are doing, especially when trying to time multiple dishes for a meal. Multi-tasking is fine, just think through what the challenges of several balls in the air might be for you. Don’t sauté onions and try to finish setting the table at the same time. If you need to cook onions, stay in the kitchen at the stove, you can catch up on the dishes when they are done. You will thank yourself later.
#6. Don’t Experiment on Guests:
Guests should never be confused with guinea pigs, that is what family is for. We have all seen a new recipe we are just dying to try, well holidays are not the time or place. If you come across something that looks interesting and you wish to try, do a dress rehearsal. Find out if the recipe behaves the way it is supposed to, if it is what you thought it would be, and if you even like it or not. Many disappointing dishes have been served and expensive ingredients ruined in the sake of trying something new.
#7. Know Your Kitchen:
While we all like to believe that we can cook anything, remember you might be able to, but your kitchen might be a different story. Every kitchen has certain limitations. If you only have a single oven, you should not attempt to prepare four different items that require different temperatures and cooking times. Your plan to have all of these dishes on the table on the same day would be a challenge, let alone all at once. The same thing holds true for the number of burners you have and how much cooler space is at your disposal. Remember the rule of thumb is hot food should be hot, and cold food should be cold. Think about how much oven and refrigerator space you have, and how much time you have to commit to each dish. It is often the case the we simply attempt to prepare too many items. Plan a balanced menu with a realistic number of dishes, this will certainly help you to avoid a mid-air collision.
#8. The Cover Up:
Simply put, bad food covered with good gravy equals a train wreck. Resist the temptation to try to hide a failure. Dump it and move on. I try to keep a plan B in my head whenever I entertain. Knowing that something may not turn out, or I simply might run out of time. So having an advance plan in case of a “what if” is a good idea.
#9. Throwing in the Towel:
As much as I hate to say it, there are times when enough is enough. You have tried your best and it just ain’t happening. Relax, it might be the end of the turkey, but it certainly is not the end of the world. Breath, laugh, pour a glass of wine, and pull out the take out menus. Your guests will talk about the thanksgiving that you ordered pizza for years. Probably making it one of the most memorable and fun holidays ever.
Hopefully these suggestions will help you to avoid an iceberg. Remember some things are just out of our control, but if we take care to eliminate the pitfalls that we can, there is no reason to go down with the ship.
Food is supposed to be fun, and food shared with loved ones should be even better. So relax, you are among your friends. Pour some wine and laugh. Remember even on the Titanic, the band played on.
